I have to admit that I find stuff on Youtube like “Best of R/Tinder” really funny. If you haven’t seen any such clip, please watch them. You will be amused and also lose faith in humanity. But the way that some people make their profiles and hope to get lucky is, interesting. Unfortunately, when we signed up to this site, we discovered that things are pretty much the same here as on swinger sites in other countries. No information at all, nothing that lets you know anything about the people you might be interested in. Most of the time it is down to “couple looking for fun”. And that is it.
Imagine going to a restaurant, you ask for a menu. You get it, open it, and it says: “We have food”. Now, that is not a bad thing. In fact, it pretty much covers the most important aspect. But I think that we can all agree that we expect a little bit more. We might actually leave and go across the street to the place that has a large menu on the wall, which not only lists the ingredients, but also the way the dish is cooked and a nice picture to go with it. Just the mention of your favourites spices makes you already know what you will order. So the same thing that makes us choose what food to order, which movie to see at the cinema or what car to buy, applies to the profile you create on a swingers site. And yet, so many put so little effort into these profiles that it raises a red flag. Again, I am willing to bet that many “couples” profiles here are really guys who has in fact not had that long and serious conversation with their girlfriend regarding sex with others as a possible lifestyle. But he just throws out a hook and hopes that something bites.
So what should you put on your profile? To go back to what we wrote in our first text, we don’t know. You should write what you think is right for you of course. But at the same time, we can from our experiences make some assumptions about what makes a profile more popular than others. Unfortunately, the thing that is the No1 way to get hits or people writing you is to have photos of a hot girl. It is that easy. But if we at least try to be a bit more civilized, it is information. Information about who you are. And not only as in sexual partners, but in life in general. Tell us about yourselves. How old are you, how tall are you, what do you weigh? Yes, it is superficial and unfair but we are still talking about activities based on attraction and lust here. How do you identify sexually? Are you homo, bi, curious, straight? Those things are important to know. Let others know! Are you new to the scene or do you have experiences before? What are your interests? Are you into sailing, a massive GoT-fan, an avid Man-U supporter? Things will be a lot smoother on that first, and probably nervous, date if you have some things to talk about. And not least of all, let people know what kind of sex you like. We are still talking about site for having sex with others after all. Skimping out on those details… Why? And this is one of those times where the previous discussions about where to draw borders is nice to have had. Because it is also wise to tell what kind of sex you are not interested in. If for no other reason than to save yourself awkward situations later on.
Photos are also nice, perhaps a sexier one of each and one as a couple. Make sure that they are cropped or similar to remain anonymous. Unless both of you feel so secure with yourselves and the people that know you, that you can post unedited pictures of yourself of course. And I am quite aware that I am a hypocrite in this scenario since we only have a picture of “J” on our profile, but having a better photo of the both of us is on our “to do-list”.
So it is really not a long list of things to be included. Who you are, what you look like, what you like to do in the bedroom and what you don’t like to do. One thing that has always caught my interest are those that dare to share their sexual dreams and fantasies. Because if there is something that you two do all the time, and there is a couple that dreams about doing it, but have never tried or dared, why not write them, why not help them, why not make them experience their fantasy? We have done that, helping couples doing some things that one, or both, of them really wanted to do, and we have had others do the same for us. And it is amazing! Not only physical, but emotionally. To know that someone is going out of their ways to make sure that you get to fulfil a dream. That is special.
Imagine your profile is like the cover of a book. Put a nice picture on the front and summary of the story on the back. Try to make people interested in putting their hands on you and hopefully they will get stuck in! And with that poor euphemism, I will close the book store today.
Next chapter will be about safety and carefulness. So until then, be careful, stay safe, use condoms!
“M”